Get hold of your inner critic to stay on track
As we approach Christmas, you may be finding all your best intentions to keep on track with your health are flying out of the window.
So I feel the need to talk to you about your inner critic 'cos he or she can completely sabotage you when you're rushed off your feet and particularly under times of stress.
Whether you're wanting to keep your weight in check, maintain healthy eating habits, develop healthy boundaries for great energy levels or elevate your career, whatever it is.
About your inner critic..
Do you have a voice inside your head that goes on and on about how you haven't done this and you haven't done that and you're such an idiot for saying yes instead of saying no or why has everyone else got their career, life, finances sorted and you haven't.
You never get ahead of anything. You're useless, too slow, never on time, never making the best of yourself. You should have been stricter at that dinner or you should have said something to your boss..blah blah blah.
Do you feel like you just want to give up or angrily boot it in the head?
You think to yourself, I've just got on top of that big work project and it's nagging me about the next thing.
Or you've stood up to your boss about a pay increase but what about the kids at home? They're treating the house like a dustbin.
Maybe you've filled out forms to start training in something new and this voice in your head goads you you'll never stick to it.
The voice can be relentless, nagging, snarly, vicious even, leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless, comfort eating on the sofa or whipped up into such a frenzy, your family don't know what mood you'll be in next.
Welcome to your inner critic!
Your inner critic will show up particularly strongly in the pre-menstrual part of your cycle but expect him or her at any time and especially if you're going through the menopause.
I'm going to be honest with you. You can't actually fully get rid of your inner critic ever but you can develop tools to calm it, him or her down.
Wanna know what they are? I bet you do. Because when your inner critic is on one, you ain't getting away with anything. You'll feel miserable, not enough, angry, fearful - all kinds of emotions which if left to fester can wreak havoc on your health, in your relationships and all aspects of your life.
Your inner critic exists in reaction to your life experience so far. As a child, he or she was there to protect you but as an adult he can be a darn nuisance and actually stop you making headway in your life.
How do we get a handle on it?
Well, there is one positive to the presence of your inner critic, one "golden nugget" as Alexandra Pope of Red School describes.
Most of what it says is pure dross and should be discarded BUT there will be something in what he or she is saying that is trying to push you forwards albeit in the most awful ghastly way
Bear with me. Just occasionally it might be useful, as long as you don't take it's nonsense too personally and ignore the shaming and nastiness. It wants you to be your best but just like a nagging parent, it doesn't do it in a way that makes you feel motivated, inspired and empowered.
Pope cleverly explains that the only phase of your menstrual cycle when you should listen to the 'golden nugget' your inner critic has to share is in your pre-menstrual phase. But be prepared to retreat and wade through the criticism to the kernel of usefulness it's there for then use the following tools to help you.
The rest of your cycle she says, you can tell it to back down, it's not the right time.
This is because we have 4 phases;
inner winter (menstruation which is rest and reflection time)
inner spring (pre-ovulation - starting to emerge, preparation and planning)
inner summer (ovulation - visibility, actioning)
and inner autumn (pre-menstruation - starting to retreat, listening to your intuition, analysing your month so far)
Here are some tools to help you.
When your inner critic is like a monkey on your back -
STOP
FACE it, him or her
IMAGINE PUTTING HIM OUTSIDE OF YOU, preferably in front of you.
Say to it, "ok, critic, what's your problem?' She might whine and say, "you're so undisciplined, you said you were going to get better at going to the gym' or 'you said you wanted to start a weekly meal plan and you're not, you're just pussy-footing around.'
You can hear him out but I want you to give him or her a very firm reply, something like, 'look I'm doing the best I can, this was my first attempt. I'm doing this, this and this to get where I need to be, that's enough.
Take a deep breath in and out.
Imagine putting a duvet over his head and tucking him in bed, reminding him or her, you've got this. Rome wasn't built in a day.
When you can, block time for retreat, rest and reflection (preferably in your pre-menstrual/menstrual phase) for visioning and goal-setting.
Be kind to yourself. Kind self-talk is key to success in any endeavour. Kindness and compassion has to start with us first before we can spread it out to the world and our planet.
If you're struggling with a mindset that's beset with negative thoughts, it's time to address the gremlins in your closet. Why not consider my emotional, mindset and nutritional coaching to help you become vital, strong, balanced and energised again. Get in touch here or read more at fullernutrition.com
Best
Sophie xox